disturbingcalamity

I was asked by somone today what true hopelessness was. It's when you hide your mouth under your hands because you're too afraid of what it'll say. It's when you breathe easier through the smoke because suffocating helps your mind feel clear. It's when you can recall the exact date and time of your biggest regret. It's when you know every word to the song that once held so much meaning but now only holds memories that make your heart hurt. It's when you force thoughts away to hide from the pain so they instead invade your dreams. It's when you wake up panicked, clutching your chest. It's when you look at that person and have to press against

i hate myself. no complicated reason it's truly that simple this isn't a poem full of eloquent words or beautifully awkward sentences i am not jacks broken heart. just that girl who smiles alot in company and holds her chest in solitude but then came along a boy and my love followed too. because his heart isn't as cruel as mine he loves me he shreds through that curtain of shadows and doubt holds out his hand and whispers "no matter your hatred i will never fail to love you." then with the grace of any gentleman he bent on one knee. "Nadia, will you be my wife?"

i love my boyfriend. four years of binging and puking for societys beauty, and all i ever got was unhelpful experts and judgemental friends. but he knew i could be better. three years going he loved me even when i forced my fingers down my throat, with no mean words to follow. understanding that it wasn't as easy as everyone expected, even if he didn't understand my reasons. three years worth of scars to litter a boistrous body with a fragile mind. and with his one simple touch, the blade didn't appeal to me anymore. because he loved me even with my disfigured body. no more hiding under long sleeves and long pants in fear of judgement and s

She cried. She cried a lot. Cried until those cries turned into sobs. Sobbed until those sobs turned into cramps. And then, she stood. She stood like a badly oiled robot. Stiff and awkward. Her tears stopped, and her eyes stung. And she started to lose feeling. No hatred. No anger. No hurt. No betrayal. No nothing. Not even love. He lightly brushed her back As he walked out the door. She knew it was a "I'm sorry, we'll get through this" And it sent an hot tingle through her spine But her heart stayed cold. It stayed frozen. It stayed still. And that's when she realised She had found her own way to get through this She

James was Raw energy, confined rage Mutilated beauty shining through strands Rippling muscles beneath translucent skin Watching hands repeatedly slam into another, hissing out breath like a threatening cobra. He was wrong, all wrong, that forbidden fruit made so much juicier by the fact I know I shouldn't. Thoughts wandering, thinking if those pummeling hands could be as tender as they were strong. He was Fangs in a beautiful smile A laugh that reminds you of the best moments Jovial behavior giving life to a frozen heart Trying to avoid the enthralling laugh, the playful behavior entwined with my burning thoughts. That smug smile